Herm Post

  Himzoo Herm Opens Betting  for Doccer Finals As part of a time-honored tradition, it is Himzoo Herm’s job to make the first bets on the Doccer Finals which usually come out in early November, giving precedent for others to follow suit. Duff Herms have been waiting anxiously for the announcement of which team Himzoo Herm will endorse this year for the championship, and the wait is finally over. Breaking the pattern of the past three consecutive years in a row, Himzoo Herm predicts the GHLC Giants will win the Doccer finals. This year, unlike the previous years when he selfishly endorsed his own team which is leading the league as of now, he has made what some would call a risky gamble, offering an extra 2 to 48% return on the bets of people who bet on another team. Because of this, the betting market has boomed and top experts expect that Himzoo Herms gambit will likely cost him 22,000 Herm Dollars, although he still adamantly stands behind his claim that the Giants wi...

  Duff Herm Sacrifices Praying Mantis A concerned Ba Herm came to our Duff Herm Department early yesterday morning asking about one of his Duff Herms which had apparently developed a religious connection with a praying mantis. According to the Herm, he had heard loud noises coming from his only Duff Herm’s bedroom and rushed to see what was the matter.  Fearing that it was a Conspiracy Theorist or HDHG raid aimed at capturing his Duff Herm and converting him to homelessness, as had happened in the past in his area, believed to be the location of a particularly violent band of Conspiracy Theorists known as the Alta Agressors, he grabbed his hoe from his bedside and rushed down to the room on the lower floor.  When he ran through the door, however, expecting to see a band of masked Duffs taking away his Duff Herm, he found his Duff Herm laughing villainously and looking up towards the heavens with a hammer in his hand and a jar full of praying mantises on his bedsi...

  Plantation Company and Conspiracy Theorists Make Millions by “Pleasing Duff Herms”   A HermPost economics reviewer was looking at data taken from the last few days and noticed a strange trend in the size and frequency of donations to the Conspiracy Theorist Collective Fund, the primary money source of the Conspiracy Theorists which has long been suspected of illicit activity, and the recent rise in profits and expansion of the Pillbert Plantation Company who seemed to be heading towards bankruptcy before a few days ago when the fertility rates of their Duff Herms increased by 90 percent, leading them to make millions. Both organizations explain their success by saying, “We pleased the Duff Herms.”   While in the past organizations have greatly profited from doing great deeds and satisfying the public, the amount of suspicious activity done recently by both organizations and the amount of negative press they’ve received in recent times suggests that a content publ...

  Hibbob Remembrance Day; Royal Library Robbed Five hundred years ago, on this day, Hibbob Jibberson was born in the Hermwash. As a young lad, orphaned and depressed, he stowed himself away on an immigration vessel and travelled to the lands then called the Hoglands to leave behind his old life and start it anew. He quickly became fascinated by rumors of Duffs and their vast domain across the sea. In Hibbob’s time, the Duff Herms still resisted the Ba Herms control and pillaged and burned their farms, instilling the fear in the colonizers that would eventually lead to the end of the colonization movement. By this time, however, the Duff Herms’ philosophy had changed and modern Hermistani society was beginning to form. The question historians have looked at again and again is how this process came to pass; what possessed the Duff Herms to surrender their position and make friends with the Ba Herms? What sort of mysterious leader controlled the Duff Herms and kept them out of troub...