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Daily Update 12/10

Great Hermlake Robberies Are Exaggerated

        Recently, reports have spread throughout Great Hermlake City (GHLC) that a group of robbers informally known as the Nog Bandits are terrorizing the city making as many as four robberies a night. Some local newspapers have reported on it and it did not take long for the startling news to reach the HermPost Headquarters in GHLC. After a few hours of consideration by the local reporters and a lengthy investigation by local authorities, it was determined that the robberies were being used as propaganda by the Conspiracy Theorist Party who were exaggerating them by using their lobbyists and trying to manipulate the public to gain more votes. Last night, when the Berm heard the news, he said, “Nasty conspiracy theorists! I won’t say if they’re right about Fig Duffs, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they were behind these robberies … it seems like just the thing they’d do. I’ll have to investigate it.”

        We told Himzoo Herm the news because we wanted a humorous anecdote to lighten this grim article, and he did deliver. “Robbers! I hate robbers! Unless … there is no unless, of course …. I was just reading a book that says there’s always an exception … yeah, definitely; I’m positive. Uh … how did they do it? I could use some robbers to help me with that new Golden Doccer Ball they’re making in Pologma … wait what … don’t include that last one. You know I’m not gonna spend more money on Doccer Balls, in fact, why would anyone think that; I’ve never done anything like that before. Wait what … I’m leaving before I say anything else stupid.”

        Remember, as always, to donate to the HermPost. Your support helps us make new articles every day and contributes to the distribution of the news of the World throughout Hermistan. If we receive more donations we might publish a Herm History textbook where you can get all the necessary lore to understand all your HermPost Articles, Breaking News, and Weekly Reports.

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