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Daily Update 12/7

Should I Water My Hogs’ Pen; Where Should I Put My Hog’s Erirooks?

        These questions have begun to plague the states of Cottage and Wallizburg: Should I water my hogs’ pen and should I keep my hog’s Erirooks inside over winter? We regularly receive similar questions (especially during winter), but the urgency of the Herms suggests more concern than hypothetical in these questions. In response, HermPost reporters have been told to tell concerned Herms to continue doing what they did last year (if that worked) otherwise, they should probably keep an eye on the consistency of the mud in their hogs’ pen so that none of the hogs sink into it during storms.

        In general, it is believed by most Herms that watering the mud in hog pens is good for the health of your hogs and nourishes your inter-pen ecosystem. Additionally, extra water allows for certain kinds of water tolerant grasses to grow in the mud of your hogs’ pen which gives an extra food source for your hogs and the activity it takes to excavate these grasses gives them much needed exercise. Recently, however, some Herms have begun to worry that the mud in their pens is no longer safe for Eriroox. Duff Herms have even suggested that if a hog has an Erirooks in your pen, you should move it to the attic so that it can grow up away from the dangerous mud.

        As usual, the HermPost, Farm Animal Advisory Council, and the Berm all recommend that you keep your Duff animals indoors during extreme weather events like snowstorms, windstorms, tornadoes, and extremely low temperatures. When we asked the Executive Minister of the Advisory Council what he thought about the concerns regarding Eriroox, he said, “I recommend that you move your mother hogs and their Eriroox into the barn for the first month after they give birth. Make sure to feed them well and after a month, you can feel free to move them back into the pen with the other hogs.”

        When we asked the Chairman of the Pest Committee what he thought, he said, “Oh no! Under no circumstances should you breed attic hogs in your attic. Putting a normal hog’s Erirooks into the attic will likely turn it into an attic hog when it grows up …. We already have enough of those roaming Hermistan, and rounding them up and giving them homes is a hard enough task as it is!”

        As always, if you enjoyed this article, remember to donate to your local HermPost Reporter. Now, for a message from our sponsors: Fig Duffs … do they exist or do they not? Duff Herms, if you join the Homeless Duff Herm Guild, you can find out (you won’t be disappointed.) [Joining the HDHG involves becoming homeless and abandoning civilization for the companionship of other like-minded Duff Herms] Sponsored by the Homeless Duff Herm Guild™ The Best Guild for Duff Herms.

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