Skip to main content

Daily Update 1/7

 What Is Basketball And What Do Fig Duffs Have to Do With It?

Confusion has once again entered the lives of the common Herm. In this case, as it is often, the blame falls on the Duff Herm Conspiracy Theorists (Duff Herms that believe in Fig Duffs); they are believed to be the founders of a suspicious new game called basketball. Yes, they have their own sport now. 

“This is getting out of hand,” says Himzoo Herm in an interview. “I think Doccer should be the only sport that Duff Herms play because it has been since Hermistan was founded.” While Doccer was actually created four hundred years ago and not at the settlement of the Hogland, it is still true that it is one of the oldest Herm games. Himzoo Herm would later confess that he was not truly as worried about the new game and that he thought that it was little more than a way for the Conspiracy Theorists to create drama and panic.

The game’s involvement with the Conspiracy Theorists has led some Herms to believe that the game is played with or was invented by a Fig Duff. According to the self-proclaimed “inventor” of the game, “It was merely meant to bring joy to your households.… It is a disgrace that the Conspiracy Theorists are using it so. If you do not like basketball, simply do not play it. If you do, you shouldn’t have to feel connected to the Conspiracy Theorists but alas, they give us no choice any more.”

Though we questioned him about the supposed involvement of Fig Duffs, he refused to make a comment, saying that “perhaps it is true that Fig Duffs would do well at my game, but it was not made for them.”

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Weekly Report 2/2

  Homeless Duff Herm Guild Protests Against Large Scale Advertisement The HDHG, the largest free Duff Herm organization in the country, have begun nationwide protests, some revolving into uncontrollable mobs, that have gathered in the country’s largest cities to protest big advertisements and billboards. The Department of Emergency Management says that, “Two hundred billboards worth a grand total of 1,900 Herm Dollars were destroyed by protesters.” While the Department (which is largely run by members of the HDHG) discusses their next move, the Homeless Duff Herm Guild has started a massive mobilization of militias across the country. The leaders of the guild have been silent about their intentions, but the members of the militias believe that they are needed to protect Hermistan from some unknown external threat. Currently, around a thousand Duff Herms march to the border of the Umbucci Clan of Stanistan, leading them is legendary General Jim Kurt.  One HermPost reporter ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Daily Update 12/28

  Herm In Walizburg Invents Flapjack Dispenser In Walizburg, the region that has already made such notable inventions as the double salt shaker which could dispense two different kinds of salt by just pressing one button, a young Herm craftsman and his Eri Herm apprentices invented a creation that may go down in history as a Duff Herm’s flappyjakiest toy: the Flapjack dispenser! This new innovation has already won awards from many different Herm science institutes for its clever use of mechanics and levers. Currently, two hundred copies have been made, and a hundred and eighty-two have been sold for 4 Herm Dollars and 15 cents to a throng of lucky Herms who happened to walk past the store by chance when they were going out to do their daily chores in the city and couldn’t resist buying their Duff Herms this wonderful late Christmas present.  After all the publicity from the various local newspapers, the new invention attracted many rich Herms who were eager to buy the orig...
Post a Comment
Read more

Daily Update 9/4

  HDHG Suspected of Illicit Activity When one Herm, a resident of Pozny, received a letter that he had acquired a vacant plot near the center of town, he did not know whether to be frightened or happy. He ignored the letter, dismissing it as spam, but more and more just kept coming. Stubbornly, he continued to ignore the letters, until, around a week after the letters had started coming, he received a letter from the Mayor’s Office saying that the lot was poorly kept and evidence suggested it belonged to a hoarder, and, that unless he took care of his property, the City Council was going to fine him for neglect of property. Confused, the Herm went to the clerk of the Mayor’s Office and asked if they had, in fact, sent that letter. To his surprise, according to the City’s records, he had owned the property for eleven years now. Understandably, a lot left untended for eleven years would definitely show signs of neglect. Upon finding himself in the center of the City by chance the ...
Post a Comment
Read more