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Daily Update 5/18

 Herms Quiet Down as the Dry Season Begins

Herms have long awaited and dreaded the coming of the Dry Season: it bodes well for the Hermistani Institution, offering a brief period of stability and laziness as the farmers hunker down and prepare to wait out the Summer months in their houses and not protesting out on the streets. In an interview, a clerk from the Legislature of Walizburg tells a Reporter, “In a sense, the Spring represents a time of political and cultural growth. But, on the other hand, it represents a time of drama and instability for Herms when everybody’s deciding which crops they’ll be growing next year. Combined with the National Elections and Federal Conference, and farm expenses due at the end of the growing season, it’s one of the most chaotic times for us all.”

The Legislature in question, the Walizburg Legislature, is going so far as to lower spending in such important Agencies as Crowd Management Special Council and Emergency Mail Service Department (largely run by the Homeless Duff Herm Guild (HDHG)) which has caused shock throughout the State. The lead representative working on the budget cuts, named Himbershore Willfort, says, “We simply won’t be needing Homeless Duff Herms to run mail from house to house during times of emergency. Firstly, because they will be less frequent. And secondly because most Herms are situated, at present, with their most important contacts nearby, as they will want to be with friends and family to wait out the Dry Season.”

The Berm made a statement yesterday, announcing that the Federal Conference’s mandated Emergency Relief Package for his Federal Departments  has been fulfilled, giving more power back to District level Departments which this Berm has been scared to do so abruptly in the past, regretting doing so very quickly last year. He said, “The Legislatures always wait until the last second of the Conference to centralize the authority in the midst of any on-going crisis, and I, always too early to say that they have been resolved.”

This year, however, under the advice of Himzoo Herm, he has decided to localize previously Federal powers more rapidly. According to a statement he released the other day regarding the localization, he said, “We believe that returning such powers as the Police and Medics to the local Legislatures will increase contentment among the smaller States and help regionalize the preferences in the ways that such organizations should behave in different States. I do, however, retain the power, in a State of Emergency, to recall these powers to the Federal level with a vote from the High Council.”

He left before reporters could ask what situation that could be, but we are certain that the Berm knows what he’s doing (this message is sponsored by the Berm’s Advertisement Company (not affiliated with the Berm)).

For more knews, keep yours eyes open for future articles coming your way.

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