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Daily Update 10/26

 Lions and Elephants Strut down the Streets of Hermatan

After months of anticipation and careful planning both by the Berm and Himzoo Herm, dozens of elaborate and complex plans have been set into action to make Himzoo Herm’s birthday this year the most memorable of his life and by Himzoo Herm to figure out what surprises the Berm has planned. In addition to the drama in relation to Himzoo Herm’s birthday present, many measures will have to be taken to ensure that Himzoo Herm is able to make it to the Doccer Finals which are scheduled to be held only two days after his birthday this year and will present a difficult logistical dilemma for Himzoo Herms staffers in order for them to get him from one place to the other in such limitted time.

As always, the Doccer Finals are on the move, travelling from Yostacorn last year to Hermatan this year, luckily not too far from Hermbul where Himzoo Herm’s birthday festivities will take place. The legendary event is planned to take place on the Hermatan Carnival grounds, ejecting from the premises three local circuses including their wardrobes and menageries which have had to take up residence across the City. As a result, the animal invasion that has ensued has either awed local residents or left them running for their lives.

One especially flustered Duff Herm from downtown told one of the City’s reporters about his poor luck involving the escaped animals, ranging from run-ins with lions to being juggled by an escaped Big Duff juggler, apparently with ease. “Just imagine…” he said. “A Duff strong enough to juggle three Duffs at a time while not sweating a drop! Spectacular!”

 While most Herms in the City were scared to death by such encounters, this Duff Herm found them “life-giving” and “exhilarating” and traipsed this way and that through the most severely affected regions that were mostly deserted by their former inhabitants who went elsewhere in the City in search of a place where they could feel safe from animal-based threats, while he got his chance to have not one, but three lion chases and at least two alleged elephant rides.

Now, all this leaves one question: how did the animals escape in the first place, and why hasn’t the local legislatures or other authorities done anything about the catastrophe? This question has no simple answer, but the circus companies’ large influence on the City’s Legislature have grinded proceedings to a halt, and a state ordinance has forbidden the Regional Legislature from interfering with the preparation of the Doccer Stadium, and the entire operation has been placed under Federal Authority under the oversight of local Recreation Committees and the National Doccer Association.

Due to Himzoo Herm’s birthday drama, many of the Federal Guards and workforce are stuck in Hermbul. Surely, however, there will be a consequence … right? Well, several petitions have been sent to various representatives of the various Legislatures, but it’s still unclear how they will react to these demands. Until next time, thank you for reading the HermPost, loyal subscription holder.


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