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Daily Update 11/28

 Duff Herm Salesmen Revolutionize the Holiday Shopping Industry

For decades, Westlake Incorporated has been the leading toy manufacturer targeted for young Duff Herms, though this seems soon to be changed because their lead competitor and family owned business Hodgonson Rawe, a name of Eglish roots (from the country of Egland), has been gaining an increasingly large percent of the market share, with stores on averaging stocking three of their products for each of Westlake’s.

 In addition to their family-friendly and more affordable products, they sell many products for the purpose of competing with Westlake, such as their Wobbly Pitchfork, which was their response to the toy sensation the Inflatable Pitchfork. These products have been vastly overlooked because of their excessive price tags which still remain approximately 30% higher than Westlake’s.

Something else has changed, however, as even their most blatant rip-offs have gained traction in the industry and 40 new stores have opened across Hermistan selling exclusively the products of Hodgonson Rawe. Upon further investigation of the phenomenon, we discovered a notice posted in one of their toy factories which explained to Ba Herm workers that a large sum of money would be given to whoever decided to lend them their Duff Herm for a several-day-in-duration advertisement campaign which would visit stores across the state and advertise their products.

These Duff Herm salesmen have begun to take in a good amount of pay, defying the working hierarchy, and according to Corporate Headquarters are responsible for this recent increase in sales. “It’s so simple,” explains CEO and co-founder of the company, Adam Wrottly. “Duff Herms are just what we need to convince Ba Herm customers that they really need to buy a certain product, even if they don’t bring their own Duff Herm along, we can bring them one of our Duff Herms to talk them into buying half the items on sale! It’s genius, and Westlake will never be able to compete since they don’t pay their workers enough to make a living wage, much less enough to be able to buy a Duff Herm. Now we’ll just sit back and relax while the power of living wages and quality, caring, hand-crafted designs, and the most skilled workers shows the country how it’s done.”


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